I don't know what I'm feeling,
I can't get the thoughts in my head straight.
So many words that come out of my mouth aren't true,
So many images of me aren't me,
Blonde hair,
Black hair,
Pink nails,
Red nails,
Baggy clothes,
Tight clothes.
What is my name?
Who am I?
Where am I?
My reflection haunts me,
Is this me today?
Is this me tomorrow?
Was this me yesterday?
Everyone is stupid, ignorant and annoying!!!
People don't matter today,
But tomorrow they will.
School is hard,
Too much work!
Friends are stupid,
But they're my friends,
So I've got no choice.
People look at me strangely,
What's their problem?
They don't know me,
Why should they judge me???
I don't judge them!
I want to die!
I want to cease to exist!
My mind is like a multiple CD player,
Playing and switching CD's whenever it wants.
Who am I today?
A feeling of abandonment sweeps over me,
Will mum and dad leave today when I'm not home?
Yes?
No?
No.
I'm so angry!!!
Angry with you, him, her, it!!!
Just leave me alone!!!
Won't everyone just get off my back!!!
Can't you see I matter and you don't!!!
Or do you?
I can't handle this anger!
I want to cut myself!
Make it bleed!
Make it hurt!
But it doesn't,
I'm numb.
So many bright lights,
So much illness,
Am I ill?
No?
Yes?
Am I making up this pain?
No?
Yes?
Do I want to live?
NO?
YES?
What's wrong with me?
Can it be fixed?
AHHHHHHHH!!!

All grown up now, and I'm getting older,
I grew up with Borderline Personality Disorder.